Some of you are weak in vocabulary, some are unable to form sentences, some have no inspiration, some have all the problems mentioned. The worst are the lazy ones who skip the elaboration of details.
Important things to look out for in narrative essay writing
1. Essay Flow
Essay flow means no break in the story plot. Common e.g (pri sch level):
Annie was walking back home from school. Suddenly, she saw a cat stuck in the tree.
As you can see, there is a break in the story flow – no link between the two sentences.
Why was Annie’s attention drawn to the cat? The cat was meowing loudly as it was stuck in the tree.
Better version:
Annie was walking home from school. Suddenly, she heard a loud meowing coming from the trees. Upon closer look, Annie found a cat stuck in the tree.
I have always told pupils to assume that examiners are stupid. They require students to express thoughts explicitly.
2. Character's Emotions / Feelings
Examiners are looking out for three-dimensional characters. They do not want unfeeling robots who betrays no emotion as the poor cat is about to fall off the branch and break its back. Students fail to score in essays as their characters have no life. Examiners want characters to react emotively to the given situation. They like drama.
**Character emotions form the crux to the climax (conflict) of the essay**
The emotions:
Happy - elated, over the moon
Excited – brimming with excitement
Sad - depressed, heart sank
- Tears welled up in her eyes
- Tears rolled down here rosy cheeks.
- No word could express his agony.
- She sobbed sorrowfully.
- She broke into tears.
- With a heavy heart, he left the hospital.
- A dark mood came over her.
- Her eyes were puffy and red after all the crying.
- She cried her heart out after hearing the tragic news.
- The frightened child was on the brink of tears.
Anxious – beads of cold perspiration dripped down her forehead
Shock – paralysed with fear
Find synonyms and phrases that describe these six emotive states.
Formulate these synonyms and phrases into spelling list and lengthen the list over time.
Formulate templates for these six emotive states (1 paragraph for primary school) for your child to remember, and ‘cut and paste’ into their essays.
Standardise compo introductions, body and ending to memorise and regurgitate during exams.
In any fiction essay, it is definitely guaranteed that characters will be basking in one of these six emotive states. As simple as that.
3. Develop actions / motions
Example. Original sentence
One day after school, Anne was walking back home from school when she saw a cat stuck in the tree.
Simple motion added
School had ended for the day. Anne waved goodbye to her friends and walked back home from school.
More motion added
School had ended for the day. Anne waved goodbye to her friends. She picked up her schoolbag, exited via the back gate and began to walk back home.
Simple example:
1st essay lesson: Allowing your child to write her first essay
Annie was walking back home from school. Suddenly, she saw a cat stuck in the tree.
2nd essay lesson: Teaching her essay flow, employing 5Ws and 1H technique
Annie was walking home from school. Suddenly, she heard a loud meowing coming from the trees. Upon closer look, Annie found a cat stuck in the tree.
3rd essay lesson: Giving character more life
Annie was walking home from school. She was thinking about her lesson earlier on. Suddenly, she heard a loud meowing coming from the trees. She snapped out of her thoughts. Annie went forward to check. Upon closer look, Annie found a cat stuck in the tree. The cat was not able to climb down the tree.
4th essay lesson: Vocab (advance level)
Annie was walking home from school. Her thoughts were preoccupied with her lesson earlier on. Suddenly, a loud meowing from the trees snapped her out of her stupor. Annie went forward to investigate. Upon closer look, Annie found a cat perched precariously on a tree branch. The cat was not able to climb down the tree.
5th essay lesson: Sentence structure variation (advance level)
Annie was walking home from school, her thoughts preoccupied with her lesson earlier on. Suddenly, a loud meowing from the trees snapped her out of her stupor. Upon closer examination, Annie found a cat perched precariously on a tree branch, making futile attempts to climb down the tree.
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